Jessica Simpson --The Dress Must Be the Reason

Tony Romo dumped Jessica the day before her 29th birthday. Ouch. That had to hurt. She was about to have --get this --A Barbie and Ken themed party! Who would do that? Well, Jessica Simpson...but seriously, who would do that...'Hi, I'm big boobed, blonde, Jessica and my boyfriend is Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboy QB and my birthday party is going to be Barbie and Ken themed'. I mean, you're just asking every one to hate you. I thought Jess, went for that likeable, 'girl next door', aw shucks, I'm just like you, thing? I don't know --that B&K idea seems beyond stupid. But, alas, she had to cancel because TR dumped her --again, the night before her 29th birthday. She seems to be way off the mark these days. The best thing she had going for her was that she was hanging onto Tony Romo. Why oh why, did she wear that dress to sing at a golf tournament? She looks like that skank (excuse my language) from the Real Housewives of NJ! When was the last time you saw someone dressed like that at a golf tournament? Besides that she no longer has the figure to pull that dress off (sorry, Jess --but you can get it back), it's not flattering and it's ugly. Horizontal stripes that hug you in all the wrong places --so wrong on so many levels. When I first saw her picture in that, I wondered how on earth she still managed to have TR as her boyfriend...and a few short weeks later, now we know. She does not. Sad --but JS has nine lives, a good team of people and lots of shoe money. We need not worry for her.

Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer --Not AGAIN

I cringe every time I read this one. Did/does she really think dating this guy was a good idea? My husband says that Jennifer Aniston has become the hot girl that every guy in Hollywood gets to 'take a run at' on their way up. Isn't that the saddest thing you ever heard? Girl next door Jen! The sweet girl that married pre-Angelina Brad. How could this possibly happen? Okay, okay, a series of bad decisions have led her down this path --and we can all relate. But THIS guy??? This is almost as bad as that model Paul that Cameron later dated. THIS guy is the star of the biggest hit of the summer (who didn't love him in that movie??). He's good looking AND on his way up. Every girl in Hollywood is going after him right now. All his dreams are coming true. If she's looking to settle down --and if she's looking for a nice guy --I'm pretty sure he's NOT in "that" place. He's linked with Rene Z and Lake Bell --and countless other unknowns. It just goes to show you, some women --no matter how, rich, beautiful and famous, will still make bad decisions when it comes to men.

Britney Spears --Poor Brit Just Can't Hold it Together

Seriously, again??? I almost turned the page when I stumbled upon this story. I mean, it's sooo 2007. Britney walking in wearing one thing and walking out wearing something else. Remember --she used to go to clubs in her 'fancy' clothes and leave wearing her back-up dancer's unwashed JUST WORN Forever 21 skank-clothes. That was almost as gross as when she walked on the gas station bathroom floor with no-shoes on. Ewwwwwww! But I digress. Now, she's doing it again, four times a day --but this times at department stores. But hey, if I had Britney's money and a lot of time on my hands, I might want to buy a new outfit four times a day. Especially when you consider what she wears. Maybe, she catches a glimpse in a mirror --and says ---AHHHH, awful, must change. But since she has no taste, she just buys something nasty again. Imagine this process repeating itself throughout the day. Perhaps her lack of taste is what is making her crazy?? Poor Britney.

Michael Jackson --Just When You Thought it Couldn't Get Creepier!

I know, I know...very talented. But haven't we seen enough of him?? I mean --is this the creepiest photo ever printed?? I'm thinking he's already dead in this one, right?? Granted, it got me to buy the magazine --but there was probably a more tasteful way to do that, don't you think? And how about that Memorial? I don't even know what to say. Cute kids. But why did he give custody to his near 80 year old mother and Diana Ross (who didn't even know about it!). My vote is that the kids go to Janet. Janet seems like she would be a really cool stepmom. She doesn't seem as crazy as the rest of them. She can dance and sing like her brother --so they'll still have that (I don't see Katherine bust'n a move anymore). And Janet has done so little weird stuff for a Jackson. We can blame that Super Bowl thing on JT for now!

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Andrew Firestone? Are we really that DUMB???

Here are the facts...according to Wikipedia, on July 5, 2008, Firestone married actress/model Ivana Bozilovic at St. Mark's in the Valley Episcopal Church in Los Olivos, California. On March 21, 2009, 259 after they married, they welcomed an 8 lb baby boy via c-section. If you're NOT a celebrity, you are pregnant for 280 days. I'm not sure how it would be different for celebs --but I don't live in Hollywood. The explanation we are told is that Mrs. Firestone gave birth --via c-section --3 weeks early. Now, let me tell you a few of the reasons this does not make sense. 1st --that baby was EIGHT pounds. These are two tiny people (Andrew and Ivana). I've seen him in person --he's small. She's smaller. A baby grows -what -a pound a week at the end of a pregnancy. Those two were NOT going to have an eleven pound baby boy. 8 lbs is big enough! Come on! 2nd--she had a c-section. Okay --so did I. Many people do. Mine was just circumstances, not scheduled. But we all know --Hollywood likes 'em scheduled. We are not told of an emergency. So --if she went to the hospital 3 weeks early and we are not told about an emergency that led to a c-section, we can pretty well deduce that it was scheduled. Have I wasted enough of every one's time on this? They were engaged. They got pregnant a few weeks before the wedding. Big deal --it happens. Why would they make up a story? Anyone???